Having just received a diagnosis that your child has (or may have) some type of educational disability and may require special educational services, there are some things that you may "by instinct" feel a need to do.
Here are a few missteps that you ought to keep in mind and, perhaps, try to avoid:
- Deny the Problem: It may be tempting to allow yourself to believe that the experts were wrong. Even though you had suspected something was amiss in the first place, they couldn't possibly have found something. Generally, don't expect that your child will "grow out of it."
- Ignore the Problem: If you ignore it, the problem will somehow take care of itself. Remember, this is your child. Is standing by and doing nothing really worth the risk?
Rely on the District: Since they are educators, they will "take care of everything." This may make sense if your child needs 30 minutes per week with a reading teacher, or something basic. However, if you have a complex diagnosis (i.e. PDD, ASD - you'll get to know what these mean soon enough) which will cost the district substantial dollars, think again. Under IDEA, a district is not allowed to deny services based on cost; so delay tactics may easily become the weapon of choice. The school is a business. As such, there are budgets to meet and taxpayers to answer to (sometimes).
Take "no" for an answer: Trust your instincts. If you (and your clinicians) feel that your child needs something that is not being provided, exert some pressure and do not go away. Become the squeaky wheel.
Accept a "one size fits all" plan for your child: All children learn in different ways. The entire point of an IEP is that it be individualized to the specific student for whom it is written. Do not assume (or be persuaded) that since children with the same diagnosis as your child are receiving a particular service that it is the right service for your child. Use the evaluations you have received to guide you. You are not required to accept a service just because it has been offered to you. Make sure that the IEP meets YOUR child's needs.
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Make it personal: On more than one occasions, I have reacted to a SPED administrator's incompetence and/or ignorance of my child's needs as if it were a personal affront. This was not very useful. This was most likely the result of the frustration of numerous failed attempts to obtain those necessary educational services for my child. It is only natural, though, to become angry when you know your child is not getting necessary educational services. Stick to the facts - this is business.
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