Due to the level of complexity and the emotional dynamics in play, numerous "misunderstandings" may occur regarding the procurement of necessary educational services for your child with special needs. Never ever assume that the district is being entirely forthcoming in its position.

Again, we had to find out a lot of this information as we stumbled along. (This information is very general and is best explained by an Educational Advocate or a Special Education Attorney.)

Myth #1. We cannot provide that service since no one on the staff is trained to provide that service. This is false, but many parents accept it as gospel truth. The district may not deny a service on this basis alone. Challenge your school on this point. Come prepared to the IEP meeting with your own list of providers with whom the school may contract. The relevant matter is demonstrating the link between the requested service and your child's access to the curriculum, not whether the district has someone currently on staff.

Myth #2. SPED kids are pulling vital resources away from non-SPED students. This is the mantra of the uninformed and shortsighted. Under federal law, special education services cannot be denied based solely on financial considerations. In addition, the future societal costs of not providing the appropriate educational interventions to all of our children must be an integral part of the discussion.

Myth #3. Once the district has decided that a service will not be provided, there is nothing more I can do. This is false. By now, having hired both an advocate and an attorney, you will continue to fight for those services deemed necessary (as determined by doctors and other clinicians - not school administration). You may do this by filing a complaint with PQA (if appropriate), requesting mediation, filing for a BSEA due process hearing, or some combination of all three. 

Myth #4. Having a child with special needs is embarrassing. I would rather not make a fuss for fear that someone in town will find out. Each of us must deal with our own feelings about our child's situation. Please do not allow the district to use those feelings against you (especially to the detriment of your child). There are numerous safeguards in place to protect your child's privacy rights. Require the district to obtain signed releases from you before allowing them to speak to anyone about your child. Do not give your child's information to any public official outside of the school system; if you do, you run the risk that such information could become part of a "public record." More importantly, you should be proud of your child and your commitment to your child. Once enough parents come forward, the fight will get a little easier. 

Myth #5. If I question the school, they will retaliate against my child. This one, I hope, is false. Importantly, the vast majority of those service providers (SPED teachers, aides, and therapists) are wonderfully supportive professionals. At times, they are caught between doing the right thing for our children and fear of retaliation for recommending costly services.

Myth #6. We hold all the IEP meetings for your child's grade only on Mondays (or some other day of the week). This is the only day that meetings are scheduled. On numerous occasions, we were forced to tangle with this one. The district may not be so inflexible that it would prevent you from participation in your child's IEP development. Whether your issue is child care, work, or other commitments is not relevant. You are entitled to participate in your child's Team meeting so challenge the district on their completely arbitrary "only Monday" policy.

Myth #7. My child will "grow out of it" at some point. As with all obstacles in life, there is some temptation to procrastinate. Often times, such a belief is further reinforced by a cash strapped district. The truth is that, in the majority of cases, the earlier the intervention, the more successful the outcome. Our understanding is that this position has great support in the professional literature.

Myth #8. That's what the PAC is for. The specific role of the Parent Advisory Council varies from one district to another. But make no mistake, its purpose is not to secure the necessary services for your child. That is your responsibility.